I was meeting with a prospective client yesterday who at the end of our call said that if they could integrate just a couple of the things we discussed, into their personal lives and their team dynamics, life might be easier. “Maybe it doesn’t have to be this hard.” This, of course, kind of delighted me. So I said, “Great. Go implement.”

I’ve had conversations like this before. And this usually comes up somewhere in them: What might get in the way of implementing? “Forgetting. Getting busy. This stuff is hard. Others.”

So I offer this, as I offer it to you. It doesn’t have to be hard. You’re going to learn a ton in your life. You’re going to see a bunch of things you want to do better; behaviors you want to adopt; skills you want to master; things you want to create; things you want others to do. Not everyone is going to want to play. (It’s not about them anyway. You start.) Cool. So get started, and stay present – no matter where you are.

One personal default (or team default – this tends to be universal) is often to be overwhelmed by how much you might want to do, how hard it might be to do it, the challenge of just getting it started. And in the end, to sometimes just to do nothing at all. It doesn’t have to be this way, but somehow we go there.

The secret to movement and shifting behavior? Presence. Appreciation. One step at a time. Big or little. Read More »

The “truth” can be a slippery slope.

Working with teams and partners I get to see a lot of conflicting truths. The “he said, she said” kind. The “this is right, this is wrong” kind. And the flat out “we live in two worlds, your sky is green, my sky is blue” kind. There are all kinds. And I shouldn’t limit this just to teams and partners, I’d include individuals in this dilemma as well (anyone else out there have conflicting internal truths?)

The truth is important because it lends itself to creating more trust, to creating intimacy, to building alignment, to getting things done. But sometimes it’s just not black and white. As much as we’d love it to be (especially on Mondays), it’s just not that simple. Sometimes “our truth” together as a team is different than “my truth” as an individual. And I think this is not only okay, but actually powerful – if it’s engaged in a healthy way. It’s a huge opportunity for intimacy, connection, spirit, health…

What occurs to me is that there is often no way that everyone is going to see “the truth” in the same light. (What is the truth after all?) We all have our variations of the truth through the lens we look through. The challenge is when the truths are so different, we can’t find alignment. So what then? (This is where the healthy part comes in.) The magic comes in creating the space and the safety for each person in the system (on the team, in the partnership, in the family) to share their truth. Without judgement. Without repercussion. Without disdain. Even without argument. The truth is vulnerable. The truth has truth.

The art of truth telling is in honoring each person’s truth, for exactly what it is. To witness them in their truth. To create space for intimacy. The truth teller’s job is to do just that, tell the truth – and to assume good in the witness. The witness’ job is to listen, to be present – and to assume good in the truth teller.

And when alignment is needed? A “help-things-go-right” path can be to find the shared intentions behind each person’s truth to find some alignment. To speak to what’s happening. To name the conflicts. And ultimately to then put the issue at hand out in front of the system to decide which truth, collaborative or not, will best serve the system.

And, of course, to be truthful, thoughtful, respectful, and present throughout the process.

Food for thought: Do you create space for truth telling in your life and organization? Do you tell the truth? If not, to either, what’s missing? What would you need to be present in order to engage from this place?

Random post about a lot of something and some of nothing. Random things that come up in the state of this thing we called being human. Common themes (with simple flips) that come up as the root of some of the most complex of problems for clients and their organizations. Try these on, which one’s resonate? Which one’s serve you? Which one’s point to “No, not that, geeesh…but ah, Yes! definitely…that!”

Enjoy and happy Spring my beautiful friends and readers! xx

• Want something? Create it.
• Love someone? Tell them.
• Have a complaint? Make a request.
• Feel tired? Feed you mind, body, and spirit.
• Not getting “enough?” Appreciate more.
• Looking for someone to blame? Consider your contributions.
• Getting in your own way? Get out.
• Procrastinating? Dive in. (Make sure it’s the right thing to dive into.)
• Trust issues? Where are you not trust-able? (And/or what more info do you need?)
• Want to be heard? Listen.
• Want things to change? Be the change you want to see.
• Want more impact? Play a bigger game.
• Stuck in your head? Contribute out there.
• Looking for validation? Validate.
• Looking for appreciation? Appreciate.
• Slow? Foggy? Not humming on all 8 cylinders? Work the model. 

And yes, be kind. Be generous. Be grateful. Love on yourself. Do more good things. Zoom zoom.

In working with clients, I get to observe some of the biggest beliefs that get in the way of positive, effective and joyful leadership. One of these beliefs is “If I work harder, I’ll have more success, and I’ll be happier.” “If I just push through this….” Not so true.

People sometimes think it woo woo when I talk about “leading one’s energy intentionally and holding their space” – but this is actually one of the places this comes into play. It’s all about the energy of the work; the lens you see it through, and the energy you bring to the table.

Try it on. Try on “working hard” – feel into it. Feel your body, what happens with your brain, feel any emotion that comes up for you. Now try on “present, open and curious”- feel into that. What’s different?

“Working harder” has a “force” to it, it’s pushing, it has a scarcity energy to it, it’s “tight”, it’s uphill, it’s exhausting. It does not inspire, it does not compel. It grinds.

“Being present in the moment, open, curious, leading my energy, managing my space, and being fully engaged in the work, finding the gifts in it – even enjoying it” (or whatever works for you ), has a different impact. All the sudden the space has opened up. Instead of force, I’ve stepped back, I’ve caught my breath, I’ve looked at how it can be more fun, more energizing, more organic.

Regardless of how “hard” something is, if I can, in the moment, start to find the opportunity in it and a bit more space, I’ve changed the energy I’m bringing to the table. My resource state, my ability to engage with the work, shifts. The exact same work – that was once hard and I was going to trudge through it, remains the same work, yet now I have more space to look at it, to work with it, to collaborate and leverage myself, to see new perspectives, and to even enjoy it.

I’ve been playing with this with clients for years,  imagine my delight when a client sent me this link today discussing positivity in work and that working harder is not the answer. It’s a 12 minute video from a TED talk by Shawn Achor. You’ll find some great statistics in here (love the way he does stats), and some easy ways to start increasing that positivity…that, oh by the way, will make you work better while you feel happy doing it.

The Happy Secret to Better Work

Just back from SF for the past week where I had a really rich-for-the-spirit week of doing work I love, taking great care of myself, and hanging out with people I appreciate. From facilitating a team on vision and their “why”, to doing a bunch of one-on-one’s with members from that leadership team, to leading a private retreat for a client in a gorgeous penthouse, to meeting with some of my business advisors on what I’m up to and how my business can be even more helpful with this thang I do in leadership, it was a full week. When I got back on Friday and stepped into more intense meetings that were mainly all about 2012 planning for clients, I felt GREAT. Completely energized. Energized in a new sort of way. And I had to really pause and think about WHY.

I take good care myself, but often when I come back from a week of intense work, I need 2 days of decompression. (My husband jokes that he’s never seen anyone so extreme on the gas pedal – I can go from 100 mph for 4 days, completely focused on “other”, to 0 mph in no time flat.) But this time it was different. And here’s why (so far as I can tell)…I raised my own bar on self-care and intentionality; I took self-care to a new level:

• I designed my week like a maniac up front, holding scheduling and self care boundaries like never before.
• I juiced, yes juiced with really good stuff, 3 days worth of juice before I left.*
• I packed a cooler with food I know makes me feel good and supports my energy levels.*
• I scheduled my workouts in – non-negotiable – and even got a Bikram Yoga Class in at the Funky Door on Polk (which is a necessary experience if you love hot and steamy yoga and happen to be in SF.)
• I diversified my week, very intentionally booking things together that made my heart sing.
• I was obscenely focused on value and super hungry to make sure that my clients got what they needed. At the end of all 4 days – I felt very well used. (This is a good thing for me.)
• I planned in fun stuff and breaks in between and even during events – good food, and local field trips to an awesome craft store, the fab coffee bar, an architectural book store, and even a walk through Japonesque gallery (wow).
• I meditated every day so I could be as clear and present as possible.
• I listened to great great great music.
• I stayed present. And recovered quickly when I “took off”.
• I kept one master “to-do” list to save mental energy (anyone else out there operating off of 3 to-do lists: computer, phone, and maybe a notebook or two?)
• I did work I loved. I focused on the people. My “WHY” was in full bloom.

Today is Saturday, it’s a “lay low” day. I’m still in my sweats. (I consider it a bonus I’ve brushed my teeth.) I’m catching up on some stuff. Hanging with my family. Teasing my dogs. Reconnecting with my juicer. I’m mellow, but not wiped. Feeling peaceful, but still humming in a really good way. While I know not every week will be like this past week, and that I won’t always be able to check these things off “the list”, and that sometimes…I’ll just fall flat, the experience is a gift. This week reminds me of the power we have as human beings to “get in front of it”, set ourselves up for success, and to not only serve our clients and teams better by doing so, but our families, and ourselves, as well. Even just doing one or two things can make all the difference in the world. I think the magic is in the decision and making it a priority.

What do you do to “get in front” of it so that you can serve best (while feeling great doing so?) Lots of things I’m thinking about, I’m about to amplify – ready?

*Note: I know the “have juice and food, will travel” thing only really works when traveling by car, however, I’ve done this when flying too by making my first stop from the airport Whole Foods or something good, or at a minimum researching local clean food places.

It’s easy to notice when things go wrong, and then to stir and marinate in them. It’s easy to do a quick high five and move forward when things go right. What’s not as easy, is to do the reverse; to bask and marinate in what’s gone right; and to do a quick high five and move forward when things have gone wrong.

Both sets of circumstances warrant attention. Both impact spirit. Both influence effectiveness and creativity. The wrong will always demand attention, it will be obvious to those around it, it will sit in the spirits of those involved in it. It will stay. But the “right” – without awareness and intention – will often flee. It may be sensed for a moment, perhaps be less obvious, and get overridden by all else there is to move on to…next.

Human beings can be pretty masterful at brewing in the wrong; where they “fell short”; where they didn’t meet a goal; where they could have done it better. Talking about what’s not working, or what didn’t work, or pointing out what needs to be better, is an easy default for some of the smartest of people who mean great and want to do even more. Talking about what’s working or pointing out what’s going well is not as easy. Nor is accepting the praise and recognition for things going right. Yet it’s key.

And this is one of the reasons feedback can be so scary. Because so much feedback is geared towards the “bad”, there can be an automatic human response of “resistance” and fear to feedback. Before the feedback is even out, the person is prepared for the “bad”; their lens and experience is already shaded. The unnatural comfort with stewing in the “wrong” is also one of the reasons that out of 10 things, if 9 go great and 1 goes bad – the 1 gets the attention. The “one” is the one that can stick with a reputation for years. The “one” is the one that keeps people up at night, inspires fear to take risks, has people get “careful.” The “one” creates stuckness. Read More »

How’s your New Year coming along so far? Day 5 and I’ve been super aware, perhaps more now than ever, of how much power we have to support ourselves and set the tone of our lives by “getting in front of it” with energy leadership.

Three quick places to look (btw, whichever one “perks” you the most is likely the one that wants attention):

1. Physical/Environmental Energy: How’s your nutrition? Your physical practice? Your “me” time and space to be present with yourself? Your physical environment? Those pantries, closets, refrigerators, cars, offices, etc. will not clean or organize themselves – but when clean and organized will give you multiple ROIs in self-care, energy management, and internal peace. I have clients who are shocked at how their environment (not to mention physical care) impacts their leadership presence and ability to influence. And it’s an easy fix.

2. Mental/Emotional Energy: How are you supporting yourself mentally and emotionally in the New Year? Are you focusing on what you want, or don’t want? Are you making complaints, or requests? Are you connected to what you’re grateful for, or to what you don’t have? Are you giving yourself full permission to have full emotions, or are you charging forward, suppressing, no time for those “unwanted” emotions? The good, the bad, and even the ugly are essential to emotional authenticity. Paying attention to where your mind goes and where you focus is key to setting yourself up mentally and energetically for a strong New Year. (Seriously, try it – I’ll bet you can find 10 reasons why 2012 is rockin, and 10 reasons why it sucks – check it out. Which area of focus gives you more voooom to lead well and live well? Hmmm.)

3. Vibrational and Relational Energy: What’s the vibe you’re putting out there? What’s the energetic impact you’re creating? We’re always having an impact – always. What that impact is is highly influenced by how intentional you want to be around it. Notice the energy you bring into a room. Notice the energy you bring to your relationships (especially the toughest ones), notice, shift as needed, and enjoy.

What’s true for you? What are you finding serves you for “getting in front of it” and setting yourself up for success? What is the impact on your ability to lead well? Whatever it is, please share it here, please do more of it, and have a fantastic 2012!

Today I hosted a group of business owners, at my office in Rocklin, for my Biz 2012 Intention Event. A whole morning of reflecting on 2011, looking into 2012, and setting intentions for what we’ll be celebrating and discussing NEXT year at this time. (After all, if you set INTENTIONS for what you want – and act of course, you’re more likely to be celebrating those same things later.)

Some of the key themes that showed up for the day (in no particular order of importance) included:
1) leadership happens from the inside out; it’s got to BE true to you and authentic (get that, and all the “doing” stuff gets easier),
2) the power of allies and leverage (after all, no one will do it for you – but you can’t do it alone),
3) appreciation and learning for “failures/I-want-a-do-over-moments” of 2011,
4) best practices mined from the wins of 2011,
5) the power of energy leadership in creating business success (who knew pantries and clothes’ closets could impact business leadership so significantly? Seriously. Or that the vibe you bring to the table can make or break a business?),
6) we’re all our own best guru – we generally know what we need to do and intuitively what is “right” for us – sometimes we just need the “thoughtful space”/time/support/education/accountability/leverage to make the plan happen,
7) the power of a really good and clear “why” (and how that impacts marketing),
8 ) relationships that need mending/healing/nurturing/expanding in order to have personal and business peace,
9) the essential art of self care eating a good breakfast (no kidding), and,
10) the importance of visioning, strategic planning, belief, intention, and…ya…execution.

There’s a sneak peak into some of the topics buzzing around my meeting space this a.m. Which of these resonate for you? Which of these crave attention? Some of these may seem obvious or “oh, ya, I already know that” – but wait – don’t go there. Stop. Breathe. Take a deeper look. Give yourself the space to consider what you want/need to play better, and then look a little deeper. There is magic in the depths. Dive in. Get in front of it. And have an amazing New Year…