In the last couple of weeks I’ve had several trusted peers and clients ask me about my story, what happens for me personally with all this stuff? Why not share more of me and my behind the scenes? It was an interesting question. Honestly kind of took me aback, but when I got the same question from 3 separate people in under 72 hours – I had to look at it. Here’s the thing, I’m happy to share, (after all, I had the song “Express Yourself” dedicated to me in 2003 by my leadership group), for these articles though, I’ve just been more prone to making it about the content and you. I’m also really sensitive to the amount of time people have to read these things, so I edit a lot out. That said, I really appreciate feedback and do my best to turn it around quickly, so I’ll be working on sharing more of my side in the personal reflections moving forward. Let me know how I do and how I can be more helpful to you as a reader.
So, to start, what’s on my mind today as I write this is the challenge of all the roles we play in our lives and how those get the right amount of attention. If you’ve followed me for long enough, you know how strongly I feel about “work/life balance” (so strongly that I created a seminar called “The Perfectly Unbalanced, but Fully Engaged Leader“.) I actually resist “balance” – think it’s unrealistic (and actually boring – uggh – she didn’t just say that!), but rather I lean into the term “fully engaged.” So fully engaging in the moment and in the relationship that you are in right NOW. Giving yourself FULL PERMISSION to fully engage (sans guilt of not being somewhere else because it’s not “balanced”.) Doing this actually creates a feeling of “balance” or I call it “flow.” To me it’s not about working 40 hours/week, and having a perfectly balanced life – it’s about making sure that I do things that are life giving and joyful, make a contribution, and let the people around me know they’re important. It’s about being awake and spending my time where it is most needed, it’s about engaging. So how this translates may be that I may work a lot or be on the road for a while (true story this last week), but then it’s my job (and joy) to make sure that my kids get me FULLY when I’m with them. Quality not quantity. I imagine I’m either pushing buttons right now, or sighs of relief can be heard all over the world, I’ve experienced both reactions, but this is what I personally believe. I’ve tried the other way, didn’t work for me. The point is, we all have our “balance points” – just have to be aware of what they are and what our criteria are for creating them.
To your upper right is a picture of my daughter Isabella and I – “Izzy”. She’s 3 and my TEO (“Toddler Executive Officer.”) I have an 8 year old as well, who many of you have heard of, Jake, who is my KEO (“Kid Executive Officer.”) I gave them each these rolls about 2 years ago when I started to do more and more with my business. It was important to me that they felt included in the business and that they were engaged. Gratefully, they are. (Jake now charges me $25 for every good idea he gives the company.) This picture was taken at a photo shoot last year – Izzy stole the show in these casual pics and kept bopping me on the head with that flower. (She’s got a wicked funny sense of humor.) Anyway, I love this picture because it reminds me to lighten up and have fun with all of this stuff. I can get pretty mission focused and passionate, and looking at these pictures remind me to laugh and keep it playful. It also reminds me of my commitment to full engagement with them. If you have kids (or dogs or pets or a spouse or partner) you likely know exactly what I’m talking about.
Now, I’d LOVE to tell you that I have this all figured out and do it perfectly everyday, truth is, I’m writing this sitting next to my kids and the dog as they play video games and eat cheetos (can’t say they’re complaining though.) The truth is I don’t always get it right. But I do my best. And when I “fall” I recover as quickly as possible. We do our best as a family to make it work for us, the saying it “takes a village” is very true for the Cavanaugh household (my in-laws are a rock in my business), and the truth is that the kids know how much I love them and that they’re an important part of this “thing” I’m working on now (which specifically is this note.) Our way will be different then yours guaranteed, and how cool is that? We get to CHOOSE our own way of balance, engagement, and making all of our beautiful roles work authentically. It’s a choice.
As far as the adventures of the 2008-2009 economy, I’ve had a lot of questions about this. It’s been a really full year. Personally, I’ve been grateful for the opportunity to watch my own mindset and how I’ve used it well (or not), and where it’s served me, my team and my family well (or not.) I’ve also been grateful for the rich and continuous learning of what “resource state management” and “resiliency” means to me personally and how I use it to impact others and move us forward. Every day that I do this work, I experience even deeper levels of humility and appreciation for the challenge (and gifts) that we as human beings have in living fully engaged lives – especially when there are so many facets to attend to. The more I do this, the more I am gifted realizing there’s so much more to do and learn and despite thinking that someday all this learning will be “done,” I’m grateful to find that it’s all an ongoing process, and that things such as resiliency, recovery and mindset can be flipped in a moment. (And usually with the thought of gratitude, action, or play.) Of course, awareness is key to all of this, and sometimes things move so fast it can be tricky to catch, but it’s there and in a moment can be present. Personally, I think it’s fantastic. A true gift.
Here are some specific examples of how we’ve been leveraging ourselves and how our intentions of last year are manifesting themselves this year:
In terms of leveraging our services and expanding our impact, we’ve just launched a new program/product for organizations: “The DTE Power Pack” it’s an annual subscription program for personal and leadership development that includes the “best of’s” in content that I work with folks on privately and with teams, and is self and group paced (with an option for live and group support), cost-effective, and highly scalable. This is something that I’ve dreamt of doing for years, but never had the time or bandwidth to do it “right”. The gift of some of the shifts in commitments that occurred in the last 2 quarters in our business, is that the time was created and now, voila! I’m so very happy to release it. I believe that it was because of our clarity of intention and our willingness to be flexible and more creative in this economy, that we’ve had the time and energy to bring this product to market. The response has been great and we feel good that we can support our clients in this new way in a manner that will cultivate stronger community, initiative, engagement and leadership in their organizations.
Another point of leverage that came from a strong intention, is that I’ve been invited (and have accepted) to be a contributing author in an international magazine. One of my articles was published earlier this year, and they’ll be featuring more in future editions. This is a win-win-win: for DTE, for the magazine, and for the people they impact. You can learn more about this and the publication on my blog later this month. They’ve been wonderful to work with and the editor is a great example of someone committed to serving their readers in a way that supports and evokes leadership and engagement in service of business, mission and inner beauty!
Other points of leverage: we’ve just finished a series of information products (available on our site), we have some exciting strategic alliances we’re working on to better serve our clients (more later), and I was invited to host an on-line radio talk show (but have declined for now.) Of course I am still doing a lot of work with business leaders and their teams privately, and I’m noticing that we’re attracting more and more mission focused “forward thinking” service oriented people to our programs. These people are hungry to do the work and create results quickly. They’re creative and they are committed to creating “un-lidded” lives, great bottom line results in their companies, and being a fun and purposeful place to work. Our clients are awesome and we’re grateful to work with every single one of them. I notice the clearer and more intentional we are, the easier it is to be in service of our customers and to expand our impact.
So that is how intention and mission have been playing out for me. Of course there’s much more, and I look forward to continuing the unfolding, which I’ll be happy to share because we’re all in this together!
